do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared
All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.
This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.
This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:
Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.
Things that shouldn’t have been cut out of the Harry Potter Movies: ST FUCKING MUNGO’S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES
ALSO THE FUCKING POINTS HOURGLASSES WHY WERE THESE THINGS CUT I AM SO ANGRY
AlSO THE HOUSE ELVES SWARMING OUT OF THE KITCHENS DURING THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS
ALSO GINNY’S BADASS PERSONALITY
homophobia is stupid. who the hell is afraid of homes
That movie fucking fucked me up. Don’t get me started on monster house. Like it’s a dead body in cement and the old guy dies??? What the shit??
japanese people: yeah sure wear a kimono even though you are white, just know what it means and stands for! and just understand that by wearing this, you are paying respect to our culture! so please do so with careful thought!
white people on tumblr: IF U ARE WHITE nEVER WEAR A KIMONO DONT EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT IT !!!! CULTURAL APPROPRIATION 101 IF I CATCH U SMEELING A KIMONO I WILL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!!! DONT EVEN GO TO JAPAN OR THINK ABOUT JAPAN JUST DIE
A thrilling saga from my school
this is the last one!
Updated for 2014!
Nightmare before Christmas
The Addams family
The Addams family value
Scooby Doo 2
It’s the great pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Don’t look under the bed
Mad monster party
The worst witch
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Shows and Halloween specials:
Phineas and Ferb 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
Simpsons 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25
Lilo and Stitch
American Dragon: Jake Long
That’s so Raven
The Proud Family
Iced pumpkin cookies
Mini pumpkin swirl cheesecakes
Perfect pumpkin pie
No bake spiderweb cheesecake
Orange and black cupcakes
Spiderweb tutorial for cupcakes, cookies and brownies
Chocolate fudge cake with ghost maringues
Frankenstein marshmallow pops
No bake pumpkin spice cookie balls
Caramel apple cinnamon rolls
The ultimate Halloween spooktacular roundup
Orange pumpkin pancakes
Halloween candy buffet
DIY Halloween candy
Homemade cotton candy
25 sweet and salty Halloween snacks
15 easy Halloween dessert recipes
Candy corn fruit cups
Monster doll cookies
Spooky sweets for Halloween
Pumpkin chocolate chip bars
Pumpkin and ginger cheesecake
Honey pumpkin pie
Butternut pumpkin pies
Halloween candy made easy
64 non candy snack ideas
Ooey gooey monster eye cookies
Spooky Halloween spirits
Ghoulishly Glowing cupcakes
Frightful fruit kebabs
Poison toffee apples
Come little children
Up after midnight
Did you hear that?
Billy where are you, Billy? Is that you?
Double, double, toil & trubble
Dance around the fire
It’s too quiet
Halloween fanmix vol. 1
Halloween fanmix vol. 2
Light the torches
Conversations with ghosts
Bad moon rising
Decorations & costumes:
DIY pumpkin candles
Indoors Halloween decoration
30 DIY decorations for Halloween
Canning jar lid pumpkin
Decorating with autumn leaves
Cheap Halloween decorations
Best Halloween decorations
Halloween crafts for kids
Quick and inexpensive Halloween decorations
Last minute skeleton costumes
Last minute Wednesday Addams costume
Silent film stars costumes
Umbrella bat costume
Quick costumes for kids
60 fall decorating ideas
Fancy napkin decor
11 enchanting Halloween decorating ideas
No carve pumpkin decorating
Haunting homemade Halloween decorations
DIY Halloween decorations
Homemade Halloween decorations
How to make styrofoam tombstones
40 easy to make Halloween decors
80s makeup tutorial
Easy DIY Halloween costume ideas
Sparkly mermaid makeup tutorial
Lioness makeup tutorial
Corpse paint tutorial
1920s flapper look
Easy Halloween crafts
Spider Queen makeup tutorial
Sally (Nightmare before Christmas) makeup tutorial
Skull makeup tutorial
As I reached each category, I was just going, “oh my god…OH my god…OH my GOD…OH MY GOD YES…”
I don’t care who you are. If your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap, and even after 30 minutes when both of your legs go numb, don’t move. You fucking stay there and appreciate the cute little thing in your lap. If you move you’re weak and natural selection is coming for you.
I just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality and help to destroy racism